Get your tea/coffee and pull up a chair...it's a long one. ;)

As I don’t have as consistent access to the internet here in Nebaj, I have changed the form of my blog a bit. Now I am dating my entries and posting them when I get a chance. So…some entries might be old/late but there should always be a date to give you an idea of when things were going on. Hope this helps.

9/29/2009- Oh boy…here goes nothing! This is exactly how I am feeling right now. What a change Nebaj is from anywhere else I have ever lived! A big change is the presence of an indigenous language, Ixil (pronounced “ee-sheel”). Fortunately, my Spanish is good enough that I have been able to pretty much understand everything that is being said around me…up to this point. Here is a different story. When I’m walking down the street, in the market, with my coworkers…I can’t understand a thing. Now you must know that my coworkers speak Spanish as well, but they often slip into speaking Ixil. Yikes! Bit by bit I hope to learn Ixil. I do know one word, tan’tix (tan-tish), thank you. I guess I’m on my way right? I can only hope. I am starting to better understand how all the non-English speaking immigrants in the US must feel as they build their new lives in the States. To move to a more positive note…though language barriers can be frustrating, they can also provide a few laughs…get this…

…I went to the artisans market, where all the foreigners go to buy their typical crafts, and met a woman vendor who just so happened to be doing her weaving. We got to talking in Spanish, I expressed interest in her art form and after a while she told me that she spoke some English. “Wonderful!” I thought, and then asked her to say something. She proceeded to say “hello” and tell me where she is from in English. Her accent was incredible so I complimented her on it. Then she told me that although she could speak some English (and here’s the kicker) that sometimes she “f**k’s up.” Totally straight faced, totally serious. I had to hold my tongue and didn’t have the heart to tell her she had just said a bad word. Ha! None the less, I got in a good laugh. I’m sure I’ll go back to visit Maria, the unknowingly foul mouthed Ixil artisan.

9/30/2009- Today I got the chance to eat a typical dish called boxbol (pronounced bowsh-bowl). It’s corn masa wrapped in Whiskil leaves (whiskil is a cross between a potato and a squash) then boiled and served with hot chili sauce. It was very good and we got to eat it with our fingers! Woo hoo!

To tell you a bit more about my family and living situation, I have a mom Betty, a dad Alberto, and 3 host siblings Jimy, Hedy and Lis (ages 8, 4, and 2). They have a beautiful modest house with a tin roof, perfect for going to sleep to the sound of rain falling. I have my own room and with a bathroom off the side. I bucket bathe in scalding hot water which always feels good on a chilly morning. My mom is the cook of the house, makes her own tortillas and has promised to teach me. Yay! My mom and dad both work. My mom does accounting and runs groups for young girls at a local school and my dad as the coordinator for the leadership program for Food for the Hungry. Because Alberto is out of the house working all day and Betty in the afternoons, we have a house helper living with us, Juana. She attends to the kids and does some cooking/cleaning. She is a very shy but loves to smile.

10/1/2009- Today I had my first melt down, tears and all. While I was at work I just couldn’t fight them back. I was alone in the office, feeling totally uninformed and unable to do anything productive, and it brought back memories of when I did service in DC. Quick fill-in for those who don’t know anything about my year in DC…it was extremely hard due to my work situation, and although I wouldn’t take it back, it’s not something I would choose to repeat. Unfortunately from first impressions, I can’t say that much is different here. I don’t do well when I feel like my wheels are spinning and I’m not getting anywhere. As I am a busy body, this feeling is a worse for me than being overworked. I do acknowledge that this is just my first impression, and in the words of another volunteer first impressions can be dangerous, but none the less the cause of my first total freak-out. Meh.
Although I am feeling uncomfortable, frustrated and lonely at times, I also feel hopeful, rested and right were I’m supposed to be. I have great support here in Guate, both in Nebaj and in the City. When I came home crying my host mom here sat with me and assured me that, based on all the volunteers that she has hosted, all my emotions are common during this period of transition and not to worry, she is ready to care for me any way she can. Also, the other night I got a text from a new Guatemalan friend and a call from my first host mom both asking me how I was doing, telling me that they were thinking of me, and that if I need anything they are here for me. Oh man does this help! And whether I like it or not (at least in these first few days) I am here, I knew it would be a challenge, so…let the growth begin.

10/2/2009- I thought it was just allergies but low and behold…I’m sick. My head feels like it’s going to explode and my nose is running like a faucet. I got up and went to work today and then quickly told me to go back home; that it is better that I rest to heal than it is to suffer at work. I am really thankful for their insistence on health being more important than being at work. This is different for me. In prior job experiences, unless I was bleeding profusely or vomiting uncontrollably, I went to work…and felt guilty if I didn’t. But here…as I am sure that I will get sick again, I am comforted to know that If I need to stay home I can do so without feeling bad. So I slept pretty much all day. And a nice long phone call with Mom and Dad is always good medicine.  Plus, tonight after dinner, my host father sat with me and gave me a very effective pep talk. He works here with another NGO and he assured me that although I might feel at times like my presence here isn’t worth anything that people’s lives are changing, including my own, and for that we all should be grateful. He also told me that he would love to give me lessons in Ixil in exchange for English lessons…because in his opinion, speaking Ixil to the people in the aldeas is more valuable than any sort of “knowledge” I might be there to share. So…next week we are going to make a plan and hit the ground running. Man do I feel better, and all in a day’s work.

Just so you all know… all the positive vibrations/thoughts/prayers, whatever you want to call them, that are coming from all of you don’t go unnoticed. I’m soaking them all up. Thanks to everyone for keeping in touch! Lots of love.